-- Posted 28 March, 2008 | | Discuss This Article - Comments:

The Optimist at sitekreator.com was talking about the recent downdraft in the precious metals, and quotes the poet Robert Burns as saying, "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley'!"

Naturally, I take this to be a code of some kind, probably referring to me and my plans, because I am both a man and a mouse (in the cowardly sense, but with an obvious reference to my rat-like beady eyes and diseased, bad attitude), but is he telling me that my plans are in peril, somehow?

The second part of the message is obviously in code, and so I use the Amazing Mogambo Decoder Ring (AMDR) on the phrase "gang aft agley" and find that it means that I ought to form a gang, go out in the backyard, and apparently strangle the living hell out of anything that moves until they gurgle out, "Agley!"

Or maybe not, as I surmise when Mr. Otis ignored my interpretation and breezed ahead with, "What could be better last Thursday than to buy some silver at less than $17 per ounce? Just a few days earlier, silver was more than $21, so by Thursday it was trading at almost a 20% discount! What better time could there be to convert depreciating fiat paper into real, beautiful, solid, dependable, and best of all, now cheap physical silver!"

Before I could say a word to get my stupid two cents in, he went on, "The sharp price plunge in silver last week caused very high demand which overwhelmed the limited supply of real physical metal and resulted in a temporary lack of silver that could be purchased by the public. It became clear that the price of COMEX futures and the SLV ETF only sets the spot price of paper, and influences the prices of silver mining stocks, but it cannot supply the silver needed to meet the high demand for the real thing."

Well, I don't know what caused the price of silver to go down like that, but Jason Hommel of the SilverStockReport.com made quite a stir when he wrote the headline "Silver Shortage: 19 dealers reported 'Sold Out'", the significance of which he immediately underscored by writing in all-capital letters and two exclamation points, "SOLD OUT!!"

Earlier, he had reported that "5 or 6" major silver dealers were "out of inventory". Then, "13 more reports came in, saying that the dealers were out of silver inventory. Some of these names are big names in the business."

Then, "Three more major silver dealers are reported to be out of silver: The U.S. Mint, Kitco, and Monex." In fact, "nearly all of Canada is reported to be out of silver, from Vancouver to Toronto."

He asks, "How can the silver price drop by nearly $2/oz., when all these reports come in saying that the dealers are sold out, or nearly out, of physical silver? This is the clearest evidence of paper short selling manipulation that I've ever seen."

What he thinks this portends is that "This is crunch time. Panic time."

Chris Powell of the Gold Anti-Trust Action Committee (GATA) says that while Mr. Hommel is "getting word of shortages of silver at dealers around the world", it seems odd that "there doesn't seem to be any shortage of promises of silver on the commodities exchanges and in the exchange-traded funds, and if you buy only promises, you often don't have to pay storage fees, which is very convenient - especially for the people selling imaginary silver."

This seems to be the perfect spot for me to announce the introduction of the new Mogambo Silver Storage Service (MSSS), which my lawyers say requires an introductory legal disclosure to let investors know that this is obviously a scam by a bitter, greedy old man who is feeling guilty about how cruel and inattentive he was to his children, and who was just hoping to make up for all those years of fatherly neglect by getting enough money to buy them each a new bicycle so that they could get the hell out of my damned house and go far away where they think that they will be treated better.

Now that we have gotten past all that obligatory "legal disclosure stuff", you probably want to know how it works, and how you can get in! Well, it works great for me! Hahaha!

No, seriously, the way it works is that you (investor) tell me (the company) how much silver you want to buy, and I will give you a piece of paper promising to give that much silver to you, and I will charge you 10% BELOW spot! Silver at a 10% discount!

But you only get this nice discount only if you promise, in writing, not to try and collect your stupid silver at any time in the next 30 years, or go snooping around in my business, or sending your lawyers over to bang on the locked door and demand to be let in.

But I know that you think it is such a bargain that you cannot resist, and so I urge you to hurry, hurry, hurry to the Mogambo Silver Storage Service (MSSS), where our motto is, "Send us the money, then we'll talk. If you have already sent us money, we say we remember nothing and we have nothing to say except that we say we remember nothing."

Edgar J. Steele at conspiracypenpal.com is naturally aghast at such blatant fraud and complete lack of any semblance of ethics, and immediately changes the subject by commenting on the new shortage in silver with an essay titled "Nobody Wants Silver So Badly, You Can't Buy Any". Hahahaha!

In fact, he thinks that it is so significant that he is, like I am, urging instant action; "If you plan to wait to get silver until you see the signs that the silver market is beginning to lock up, then I recommend that you stay awake at nights, because the entire tsunami could start in Asia while the USA is asleep, and be essentially over in Europe before most of us wake up. Silver that was cheap when you went to sleep may unavailable at any price by the time you wake up in the morning."

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